


The Downside to Moving Up

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Drama, Friendship, Gen, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-31
Updated: 2013-07-31
Packaged: 2017-12-21 22:42:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/905813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She told many agents on more than one occasion that the Bureau could go on without them.  Now she was one of those agents.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Downside to Moving Up

**Author's Note:**

> SPOILERS FOR THE BROTHERS HOTCHNER AND THE REPLICATOR! This fic is a direct response to Criminal Minds bringing in a new Section Chief for Season 9. Erin Strauss can never be replaced for me. I kept her alive in my head canon and now she has to find a new job.

She looked out the window on the rainy Tuesday afternoon. Sipping her tea, Erin sighed. Something was churning in the pit of her stomach. Something about this felt clandestine. For the past week she felt as if something bad was about to happen. 

She didn’t share those feelings with anyone, even Dave. She didn’t want him thinking she was nuts. Erin wasn’t a psychic but she did follow her gut. She needed her gut to calm down some.

“I'm really sorry I'm late.” FBI Deputy Director Kirk Douglas walked into the small coffee shop. “You're not going to believe this but I was held up by a seriously ‘Deep Throat’ type meeting in an underground parking complex.” He sat down in the chair across from her. “We've become that city again.”

“Would you like some tea?” Erin asked. “Are you hungry?”

“We can't eat here but we can talk here. I’d love some tea.” Kirk flagged the server and asked for a cup of blackberry pomegranate. This was one of those newfangled fashionista places so he would give it a go.

“They have a decent menu.” Erin said.

“I need to talk to you about something.”

“Clearly, you pulled me out of Quantico in the middle of the day. What's up?”

“Some changes are about to take place.” Kirk said.

Erin didn’t like the sound of that but she didn’t say anything. She didn’t know what to say because she had no idea what was happening. The least she could do before she blew a gasket was hear him out. Kirk always had her back, even if he was sometimes kicking her ass while doing it.

“I'm going to retire next year.”

“What? Are you serious?”

“I can't do this job forever, Erin; I don’t want to. I want to spend some time with my wife, who has been a saint putting up with this Bureau life. I want to take a vacation and read a good book and sail my boat. I'm even going to contemplate sleeping in and building bookshelves. I never intended to do this forever. I don’t even think I intended to do it this long.”

“They kept asking you to stay.” She said. “I don’t know why they didn’t just let you run the whole damn thing.”

“I never wanted to be Director.” Kirk said. “It’s a glamour job, a political position. Don’t get me wrong, I've seen a few decent ones come and go. But it has term limits for a reason. I've been the guy the guy counts on. I've been the one in the trenches taking the shots, recovering, and going back for more. I'm one of the old soldiers.”

He dropped the two teabags in the cup of hot water. He would let them steep for a while and see how he liked it. 

“What the hell are they going to do without you?” she asked.

“You think I’d leave the Bureau without a plan?”

“Kirk, I don’t think you leave the house without a plan.”

“On October 1st, Matthew Cruz will become the new Section Chief of the BAU.” He said.

“Come again?”

“Erin…”

“They're firing me?”

“Not exactly.”

“Well what do you call it exactly?” she asked.

“A promotion.”

“Oh bullshit, Kirk.”

“You're damn right its bullshit but we’re about to beat them at their own game.”

“Oh my God,” Erin ran her fingers through her hair. “I knew it. I fuckin knew something was happening and it was killing me because I just couldn’t put my finger on it. Those sons of bitches are going to bury me.”

“I won't let it happen.” Kirk shook his head.

“Kirk…”

“Just listen to me.”

“I won't let you fall on a sword for me.” Erin swiped her hand as if to wave away the notion.

“You’ve been doing that for a lot of people for a lot of years. Don’t you think it’s time someone returned the favor?”

“Not you.”

“The FBI isn’t supposed to be hierarchal and nepotism is usually for the weak but there are exceptions for every rule.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Everyone with half a brain, even those dipshits in the over-furnished offices knew I was going to pass the torch to my kid. Hell, I think that’s some of the reason they’ve kept me around for so long. They knew when I was gone that you would replace me and you're not nearly as sweet as I am.”

“Tell it to someone who doesn’t know you.” Erin rolled her eyes. “I like being the Section Chief…I love my job.”

“It’s not an option anymore.” He shook his head.

“Just like that?”

“Just like that. But I have a plan. Wanna hear it?”

Erin nodded. She was trying to suck it up. There was no way in hell she planned to burst into tears in some place called The Coffee Factory. There was no way she was going to burst into tears in front of Kirk. 

Not that she hadn’t on more than one occasion in the over 25 years that they’d known each other. But she had to suck it up. They were trying to take her down and it wasn’t the time for crying. Maybe she could do that later when she was alone. Now was the time for Erin to focus on saving her career.

“You are about to become the new Associate Deputy Director of the FBI.” He said.

“Did you just make that job up?”

“Yes and no. It exists but we haven’t used it in some time since there are those who think I can do everything. Basically it’s probably going to take me two years to properly retire from this dance. While I'm doing that you're going to be running my office and preparing to take my place.”

“What if they don’t let me?” Erin asked. 

“Number one, fuck them letting you. Number two, they're not really going to have a choice in the matter. Number three, fuck them letting you.”

“You said that already.” She sipped her tea.

“It needed to be repeated. Look kid, I know you’ve been through hell and back these past couple of years. If I look hard I can still see plenty of the singe marks. But you’ve kept your head in the game and you’ve come out on top in a lot of this. None of that can be denied. It also can't be denied that no matter how hard you tried, the BAU got out of your control on more than one occasion. Someone marked an X in a little book every time that happened.”

“There must be a hell of a lot of X’s then.”

“There are a few. I did all I could to make sure that it didn’t always reflect negatively on you. There were a few times when the Director had my back and others when he left me out to dry. It’s OK since I can take care of myself.”

“So can I.” Erin said.

“I'm not going to let them, or anyone, do this to you Erin. You’ve been faithful to the Bureau throughout.”

“I refuse to do anything that risks tarnishing your name or reputation.”

“And I won't let you be pushed aside because they were too stupid to see the mistakes that were right in front of their faces. Now, do you want to fix this or do you want to argue. I only have time for one or the other.”

“What are we going to do?” Erin asked.

“On August 15th the September issue of _Politico_ Magazine hits newsstands. That’s their _Women in Power_ Issue.”

“I didn’t know you had time to read magazines.”

“They were going to put Madame Secretary on the cover, prepare for the onslaught of 2016 questions.” Kirk went on as if Erin hadn’t spoken. “I made a few phone calls and a change has been made. Now it’s going to be you.”

“What's going to be me?” she asked.

“You're about to be a cover girl. Do you want to know the headline?”

“I can hardly wait.” Erin mumbled.

“The Most Powerful Woman that You Don’t Know. What do you think about that?”

“I think that I’d rather not think about it. I don’t even want to know what you had to sacrifice to bump Madame Secretary off a magazine cover.”

“Her story will be just as hot next month as it is this month since it’s all speculation anyway.” Kirk said. “We just have a small window of time for what we’re trying to accomplish. Anyway, one of Mrs. Clinton’s tenets is that women should be treated with fairness. She was not pleased to hear about this current situation.”

“Secretary Clinton knows about this?” Erin couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She’d met the former Secretary of State on more than one occasion. That didn’t mean she’d deluded herself into thinking they were friends.

“A lot of people know. There are those getting on the train and the rest of the bastards can wave from the station.”

“Is the Director for or against me?”

“He's on the fence,” Kirk replied. “Which is never an ideal place to be. He can't deny all that you’ve done but also doesn’t have the cards to hold back those who want to bury you.”

“But you do?”

He just looked at her…she already knew the answer to that question. Kirk Douglas has been around a long time; since the Hoover days. So many had come and gone but he was still there. He’d given markers, used them, and saved them in his back pocket. He’d carried the Bureau on his shoulders more than once and never did a victory lap. 

There was always someone who wanted or needed something and Kirk was where they came to get it. Right now that person was Erin. He didn’t give a damn what he had to do. No one was going to cut his kid off at the knees on his watch.

“How is this going to go?” Erin asked. She looked down at her tea but didn’t want anymore.

“On Friday afternoon at three there will be a cover and photo shoot. They're going to take pictures in your office and at the Lincoln Memorial because readers always respond positively to that. On Sunday a photographer will take pictures of you at home and Dave will be there too.”

“Dave? I know it’s the worse kept secret in Quantico but technically my marriage is against the rules.”

“It’s not.” He shook his head.

“It’s not?”

“David Rossi has been paid by the FBI as a consultant since his return in 2007. He retained his SSA privileges and has taught at the Academy. But he was never “officially” rehired by the FBI. It would’ve been impossible for him to maintain his writing career if he had been.”

“Do I even want to know?”

“No. And they want you and Dave because apparently the power couple thing is sexy. On Monday morning there will be a breakfast interview in your office.”

“I haven’t given many interviews in my time.”

“It’s a damn shame since you're more witty, graceful, and intelligent than the ones who can't wait to jump in front of the microphone.” He said. “The interviewer knows what to ask and I have no doubt that you know how to answer.”

“When am I losing my job?” Erin asked.

“On September 15th you'll start running my office. Aaron Hotchner will be the Acting Section Chief until 10/1.”

“I don’t want to be a glorified office manager, Kirk.”

“That’s not what this is.” He said.

“Who wants me out?” she asked.

Erin didn’t want to do this. She didn’t think she really wanted to know. All the blood, sweat, tears, and sacrifice; it hurt to know that she was so expendable. She told many agents on more than one occasion that the Bureau could go on without them. Now she was one of those agents.

“There are those who are embarrassed that they didn’t see Curtis for what he was.”

“He was a sociopath…his job was to conceal his intentions.”

“You warned more than one person of his hubris over a decade ago. They made the same mistake twice and more than a handful of people lost their lives. A lot of suits come out of this looking bad. They'd rather blame you than themselves.”

“I'm sure all the problems the BAU has had since the escape of George Foyet didn’t help my case.” Erin sighed. “I was the den mother who had no control over her scouts. So many times I went to bat and so many times I had to throw out the unpopular opinions. I was doing it for the BAU. I was doing it for the Bureau.”

“Don’t let this get to you, kid.” Kirk finished his tea and pushed the cup in front of him.

“Really? How in the hell do you suppose that I don’t let it get to me? They're trying to shove me out. No, they're succeeding in shoving me out.”

“Hold your head up high, Erin. Keep your eyes ahead, your shoulders back, and your ass puckered. You will get through this.”

“What if I don’t?” Erin asked.

She hoped she didn’t sound as helpless as she felt. While she was sure there would be repercussions from The Replicator case, losing her job never crossed her mind. Erin Strauss had survived many storms. They rattled the foundation but never tore it down. Now she was grasping for whatever broken pieces that she could find.

“You will.” Kirk said. “This isn’t the first time that someone tried to come through the back door to take you down. We've been here before. They never stand in your face because they fear you.”

“They fear you.”

“You're my kid…it’s the same thing.”

“I really need a cigarette.” Erin mumbled.

“I haven’t had one since Reagan was in office. I think today I might have to concur. You wanna take a walk?”

She nodded. Kirk left a $10 bill on the table and they walked out of the coffee shop. The rain fell at a steady pace but the large blue umbrella kept them covered. Erin lit a Marlboro Mild before offering one to her mentor. Kirk slipped the cigarette between his lips.

“This is really happening.” She said.

“It’s happening.” He nodded. “I know you're upset and uncertain; I expected that. Everything is going to be fine.”

“I love my job.”

“I know, and I'm sorry.”

“I owe you for this, Kirk.” Erin said.

“You owe me nothing.” He shook his head. “When I saw you at Barnard College in that senior psychology seminar all those years ago, I knew I was looking at someone very special. You wanted to get your Masters; have a parachute in case you didn’t make it through the Academy. I waited. I waited because I never doubted you. Everything you have, you earned Erin. 

“I kept so many barbarians at the gate because they wanted to attack for the wrong reasons. But I did my best never to display favoritism. I guess I can tell you now that you’ve always been my favorite. Other than my own boys, who didn’t want this life, I've bestowed everything I've learned upon you. I’d turn in every marker I have to make sure these bastards don’t clip your wings before its time. They’ll regret it later but by then it won't matter.”

“OK.”

He didn’t push her to say another word. This would be a lot for anyone to take in, even if Erin was one of the strongest people he knew. Her arm was in his and Kirk could feel her trembling. John Curtis nearly killed her a couple of months ago and this was the prize she got for surviving. It wasn’t fair but neither was life. 

Life was actually a kick in the nuts sometimes. This time Erin Strauss needed to put on her cup. Kirk slipped his arm out of hers and around her shoulder. The Deputy Director wasn’t the overly affectionate type though he had little doubt that Erin knew how much she was loved.

“Associate Deputy Director, huh?” she took a deep inhale of her cigarette.

“Mmm hmm,”

“Will there be a pay increase to go with the new title?”

“Absolutely; with another to come in a year when you fully take the office.”

“Is there any way I can remain at Quantico?” Erin asked.

“I'm working on that too. The Academy falls under the blanket of the Deputy Director’s office. There might be something I can do.”

“Alright.”

“I didn’t expect any other answer.” Kirk said.

“I need to let this sink in.” she said.

“You have a few days.”

A few days wouldn’t be enough. Erin still had nightmares of being attacked in that hotel room by John Curtis. Now she had to deal with losing her job on top of everything else. Most people would’ve danced and celebrated the opportunity to be Deputy Director of the FBI. 

A few years ago Erin might as well. A lot had changed in those few years. Sometimes things changed without control or consent. She put her hand on top of Kirk’s, still resting on her shoulder. Erin needed to know that she wasn’t falling alone.

“I just realized I'm parked in the other direction.” She said. “I need to get back to Quantico. I should probably get some lunch.”

“We’ll turn around and walk in the other direction then.” Kirk said.

“Don’t make it sound so simple, Kirk. You always make it sound simple and sometimes it’s not.”

“Sometimes it is. You're not walking alone…you never have been and you never will be.”

***


End file.
